Choosing the Better Part

Hospitality was an important value in the home where I grew up. We often had company, especially on Sundays which usually featured a traditional roast, and my mother would be working all day in the kitchen from the time we got home from church to produce a wonderful meal.  My dad would welcome our guests, pour them a drink and engage them in conversation while mum finished her meal preparation.  At a certain point, dad would poke his head around the kitchen door and say, “come and join us… we’re missing you”, and with some persuasion, mum would take off her apron and come and join us.  Lest it be thought that we left all the work to mum, dad and I would clean up together afterwards, and he’d usually comment , “why does she have to use every pot in the kitchen?”  

I tell this story because we all know this situation and it’s hard not to feel some compassion for poor Martha as Jesus praises Mary for taking the better part. But is that really what’s going on here?  We know that table hospitality is so important and that there is important work to be done in working for the kingdom of God. As we consider the value of family meals, and parish potlucks, we know that there are many who carry out that important ministry to feed our bodies and our souls. In addition, hospitality was not only a key cultural component in the time of Jesus, but it was work that was carried out specifically by women. 

Now we know that Jesus had a special friendship with this family and had certainly been a guest in their home many times. The Gospels only tell us two of these Bethany stories: this one, and the one we heard a few weeks ago when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. It is very likely that on other occasions, Jesus praised Martha for her hospitality, it is also likely that Mary on other occasions was involved in food preparation and service. 

On this occasion however, Jesus highlights a particular value, a specific way of being in the world. Ecclesiasticus tells us that “there is a time for everything,” and in the monastic tradition, this is lived out as a rule of life. Everything in the monastic day has its particular time and place. There are times to pray, times for active work, times to eat and to sleep.  The days begin with prayer in the early hours and prayer punctuates the day until compline at night. Hospitality is also a key component of monastic life and so is carrying out the various household chores that keep the monastery functioning effectively. 

The truth is that for many of us…it’s easier to be busy than to take time to be quiet and actually listen to what Jesus is saying to us. What could happen if we prayed first, then acted? I mean really pray and really want to KNOW what Jesus is saying to us….. how would that change the outcomes? 

We tend to focus our attention in this story on the two named characters i.e., Martha and Mary and to compare the two of them. But let us remember for a minute that Jesus didn’t travel alone, he had with him his disciples, perhaps  spouses and other family members, and other supporters, the Gospel doesn’t name them individually but there would have been quite a gathering of people and all of them except Martha, were listening attentively to what Jesus was saying to them. This was the last place he visited before he entered Jerusalem, so what he was saying would have been of great importance.  Mary is only identified individually because Martha appeals to Jesus to get her to help, and it is then that Jesus affirms that at this time, listening is what is required. So this is not only about Mary and Martha but about the community gathered and listening attentively. This tells us that it is important that we, too, gather together as a community to listen to what Jesus is saying. Martha is busy all by herself doing what she considers to be most important but everyone else is gathered and listening. 

There is a lesson in this for us in that gathering and listening together as a community is essential. What would happen if we prayed before a meeting for example with real openness and a willingness to listen to Jesus speaking to us through one another? How would that change things. What if we could put aside our own preferences about how the church should be and listen to that small still voice leading us. Could it be that Jesus was pointing to the need for both prayer and action and showing us that activity without prayer cannot bear fruit?  

There’s a reason why we pray not only as individuals but collectively as a community of faith. The theologian Edward Schillibex said it like this: “what we dream alone remains a dream, what we dream with others becomes a reality.” Mary is sitting at the feet of Jesus, not alone, but in the company of others who are part of Jesus’ circle of followers. Presumably he is speaking to all of them and Mary is listening attentively along with the others, to what he is saying.